{"id":7159,"date":"2020-06-02T14:41:38","date_gmt":"2020-06-02T12:41:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/?p=7159"},"modified":"2021-01-27T11:26:20","modified_gmt":"2021-01-27T10:26:20","slug":"portret-gaslightera","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/?p=7159","title":{"rendered":"Portr\u00e9t Gaslightera (1)"},"content":{"rendered":"<header class=\"entry-header\">\n<div class=\"entry-meta\"><strong>Gaslighter a rozd\u011blov\u00e1n\u00ed<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/header>\n<div class=\"entry-content\">\n<p>Gaslighte\u0159i maj\u00ed pln\u00fd pytel trik\u016f jak manipulovat lidi, ale jejich nejobl\u00edben\u011bj\u0161\u00ed jsou triangulace a rozd\u011blov\u00e1n\u00ed, jeliko\u017e vra\u017een\u00ed kl\u00ednu mezi tebe a druh\u00e9 lidi napl\u0148uje jejich pot\u0159ebu dominovat a \u0159\u00eddit. Pod\u00edvejme se tedy na tyto dv\u011b techniky. Gaslighte\u0159i je u\u017e\u00edvaj\u00ed z\u00a0n\u00e1sleduj\u00edc\u00edch d\u016fvod\u016f:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Aby lidi roze\u0161tvali proti sob\u011b<\/li>\n<li>Aby lidi p\u0159inutili k\u00a0poddanosti<\/li>\n<li>Aby se vyhnuli p\u0159\u00edm\u00e9 konfrontaci<\/li>\n<li>Aby se ze sv\u00e9ho chov\u00e1n\u00ed nemuseli zodpov\u00eddat<\/li>\n<li>Aby o\u010dernili tv\u016fj charakter<\/li>\n<li>Aby \u0161\u00ed\u0159ili sv\u00e9 \u201evzkazy\u201c<\/li>\n<li>Aby druh\u00e9 zm\u00e1tli<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Triangulace je psychologick\u00fd pojem pro komunikov\u00e1n\u00ed s\u00a0n\u011bk\u00fdm prost\u0159ednictv\u00edm t\u0159et\u00edch osob. Nam\u00edsto toho, aby ti n\u011bkter\u00e9 v\u011bci gaslighter \u0159ekl p\u0159\u00edmo, jde za spole\u010dn\u00fdm p\u0159\u00edtelem, kolegou, sourozencem nebo druh\u00fdm rodi\u010dem, aby ti jeho prost\u0159ednictv\u00edm doru\u010dil zpr\u00e1vu. Triangulace m\u016f\u017ee fungovat pouze na z\u00e1klad\u011b nazna\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed \u2013 \u201ev\u00e1\u017en\u011b bych si p\u0159\u00e1l, aby m\u011b Petr p\u0159estal otravovat\u201c, co\u017e manipul\u00e1tor vyslovuje v\u00a0nad\u011bji, \u017ee se to k\u00a0Petrovi stejn\u011b nakonec dostane \u2013 nebo na z\u00e1klad\u011b jasn\u00e9ho v\u00fdroku: \u201e\u0159ekni pros\u00edm Petrovi, a\u0165 m\u011b u\u017e neotravuje.\u201c Oba zp\u016fsoby jsou manipulativn\u00ed a nep\u0159\u00edm\u00e9. Gaslighte\u0159i vys\u00edlaj\u00ed sign\u00e1ly pomoc\u00ed druh\u00fdch lid\u00ed zvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 v situac\u00edch, kdy sebere\u0161 s\u00edly, aby ses ze vztahu vyv\u00e1zal. Mnoho lid\u00ed se nev\u011bdom\u011b st\u00e1v\u00e1 posl\u00ed\u010dkem gaslighterov\u00fdch zpr\u00e1v.<\/p>\n<p>Rozd\u011blov\u00e1n\u00ed je obl\u00edben\u00fdm n\u00e1strojem gaslighter\u016f, jeliko\u017e pomoc\u00ed n\u011bho lze dob\u0159e demonstrovat moc a kontrolu. P\u0159\u00edkladem m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt, kdy\u017e n\u011bkdo nap\u0159\u00edklad l\u017ee sv\u00e9mu p\u0159\u00edteli o tom, \u017ee o n\u011bm n\u011bjak\u00e1 t\u0159et\u00ed osoba (spole\u010dn\u00fd p\u0159\u00edtel) \u0159ekla n\u011bco \u0161patn\u00e9ho. Gaslighte\u0159i jsou \u0161tv\u00e1\u010di a podn\u011bcovatel\u00e9 konflikt\u016f. Ho\u0159\u00ed nad\u0161en\u00edm, kdy\u017e se jim povede lidi p\u0159inutit k\u00a0rozbroj\u016fm a h\u00e1dk\u00e1m mezi sebou. Gaslighte\u0159i pohodln\u011b a zpovzd\u00e1l\u00ed sleduj\u00ed boj, kter\u00fd sami zp\u016fsobili. Gaslighter v\u00ed, \u017ee rozd\u011blov\u00e1n\u00ed a triangulace t\u011b p\u0159inut\u00ed, aby ses dr\u017eel k\u00a0n\u011bmu bl\u00ed\u017ee a aby sis dr\u017eel odstup od osoby, proti kter\u00e9 se t\u011b sna\u017e\u00ed roze\u0161tvat.<\/p>\n<p>Kdy\u017e se odv\u00e1\u017e\u00ed\u0161 j\u00edt proti gaslighterovi, gaslighter proti tob\u011b p\u016fjde. Bude t\u011b m\u00edt v\u00a0hled\u00e1\u010dku, ba h\u016f\u0159e, bude m\u00edt v\u00a0hled\u00e1\u010dku tvou rodinu. Je mu jasn\u00e9, \u017ee tv\u00e1 rodina bude nejlep\u0161\u00edm c\u00edlem, jak s\u00a0tebou srovnat \u00fa\u010dty.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a srovn\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gaslighte\u0159i t\u011b n\u011bkdy budou srovn\u00e1vat s\u00a0jin\u00fdmi lidmi, aby mezi v\u00e1s zarazili kl\u00edn a z\u00edskali kontrolu. Gaslightuj\u00edc\u00ed rodi\u010d \u010dasto srovn\u00e1v\u00e1 sv\u00e9 d\u011bti \u2013 a to zp\u016fsobem, kter\u00fd je do o\u010d\u00ed bij\u00edc\u00ed a neodpov\u00edd\u00e1 skute\u010dnosti. Takov\u00fd rodi\u010d na sv\u00e9 d\u011bti nahl\u00ed\u017e\u00ed jako na \u201epoveden\u00e9\u201c a \u201enepoveden\u00e9\u201c. Poveden\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b v\u00a0jeho o\u010d\u00edch d\u011bl\u00e1 v\u0161echno spr\u00e1vn\u011b a nepoveden\u00e9 v\u0161echno \u0161patn\u011b. Takov\u00fd pohled roze\u0161tve d\u011bti proti sob\u011b.\u00a0 Druh\u00fdm p\u0159\u00edkladem m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt, kdy\u017e ti tv\u016fj \u0161\u00e9f v\u00a0pr\u00e1ci \u0159ekne: \u201epro\u010d to ned\u011bl\u00e1\u0161 jako Jana? Ta chod\u00ed do pr\u00e1ce v\u017edycky v\u00a0osm. Kdy\u017e to zvl\u00e1dne ona, tak pro\u010d ne ty.\u201c V\u017edycky bude\u0161 tahat za krat\u0161\u00ed konec provazu krom\u011b situac\u00ed, kdy je pot\u0159eba o\u010dernit tvou \u201ekonkurenci.\u201c Gaslighter t\u011b bude op\u011bvovat jen v\u00a0situac\u00edch, kdy\u017e je c\u00edlem, aby se n\u011bkdo jin\u00fd c\u00edtil \u0161patn\u011b. Dokonalost je pro v\u0161echny nedosa\u017eiteln\u00e1, jakkoliv se bude\u0161 sna\u017eit splnit gaslighterova nenaplniteln\u00e1 o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a respekt<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Lid\u00e9, kte\u0159\u00ed gaslightera cht\u011bj\u00ed opravovat, nemaj\u00ed v\u00a0jeho \u017eivot\u011b prostor. Gaslighter se ztoto\u017e\u0148uje pouze s\u00a0lidmi, kte\u0159\u00ed ho stav\u00ed na piedestal a chovaj\u00ed se k\u00a0n\u011bmu zp\u016fsobem, jak\u00fdm (se domn\u00edv\u00e1) \u017ee by se k\u00a0n\u011bmu m\u011bli chovat v\u0161ichni. Ve chv\u00edli, kdy gaslighter vyc\u00edt\u00ed, \u017ee ho neobdivuje\u0161 a nezaj\u00edm\u00e1\u0161 se o n\u011bho, p\u0159estane se o tebe zaj\u00edmat on.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a bl\u00e1zni<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gaslighter vraz\u00ed mezi tebe a tv\u00e9 bl\u00edzk\u00e9 nejr\u016fzn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed kl\u00edny. Po t\u00e9, co opust\u00ed\u0161 pr\u00e1ci, kde byl tv\u00fdm nad\u0159\u00edzen\u00fdm gaslighter, se nap\u0159\u00edklad m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 od sv\u00fdch b\u00fdval\u00fdch koleg\u016f dozv\u011bd\u011bt, \u017ee nech\u00e1pali co se d\u011bje, proto\u017ee jim \u0161\u00e9f \u0159ekl, \u017ee by \u201ese p\u0159ed tebou m\u011bli m\u00edt na pozoru.\u201c Nen\u00ed lep\u0161\u00ed zp\u016fsob, jak t\u011b ve\u0159ejn\u011b zdiskreditovat, ne\u017e \u0159\u00edct druh\u00fdm, \u017ee ses pom\u00e1tl. V\u0161ichni si najednou mysl\u00ed, \u017ee jsi slab\u00fd a nelze se na tebe spolehnout.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a oddanost<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gaslighter vy\u017eaduje tot\u00e1ln\u00ed a\u017e neuskute\u010dnitelnou oddanost \u2013 ne\u010dekej v\u0161ak, \u017ee bude vz\u00e1jemn\u00e1. Gaslighter se na tob\u011b m\u016f\u017ee dopustit mnoha k\u0159ivd, ale b\u016fh ti pom\u00e1hej, kdy\u017e nabude dojmu, \u017ees ho zradil ty. Ud\u011bl\u00e1 ti ze \u017eivota peklo.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a strach<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Rodina a p\u0159\u00e1tele se gaslightera zast\u00e1vaj\u00ed p\u0159ed lidmi, kte\u0159\u00ed maj\u00ed drzost ho pro jeho chov\u00e1n\u00ed napadnout. Nez\u0159\u00eddka ho br\u00e1n\u00ed proto, \u017ee se sami sna\u017e\u00ed vyhnout konfrontaci. D\u011bje se tak ze dvou d\u016fvod\u016f:<\/p>\n<p>1. P\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9 a rodina maj\u00ed gaslighterovo chov\u00e1n\u00ed za\u017eit\u00e9 a pova\u017euj\u00ed ho za norm\u00e1ln\u00ed.<\/p>\n<p>2. P\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9 a rodina se boj\u00ed, \u017ee i je by mohl gasligter na\u0159knout ze \u201ezrady\u201c \u2013 necht\u011bj\u00ed b\u00fdt shled\u00e1n\u00ed neloaj\u00e1ln\u00edmi. To je zvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 b\u011b\u017en\u00e9 u d\u011bt\u00ed gaslighter\u016f. Rodinn\u00ed p\u0159\u00edslu\u0161n\u00edci a p\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9, kte\u0159\u00ed n\u011bkdy d\u0159\u00edve sami zakusili gaslighter\u016fv hn\u011bv, se ho boj\u00ed a nau\u010dili se, \u017ee mu v\u00a0\u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9m p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b nesm\u00ed zk\u0159\u00ed\u017eit cestu.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a hn\u011bv<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Z\u00a0d\u016fvodu k\u0159ehk\u00e9ho ega a domn\u011bnky, \u017ee gaslighterovi ostatn\u00ed \u201edlu\u017e\u00ed\u201c v\u011brnost, bere v\u0161echno chov\u00e1n\u00ed druh\u00fdch osobn\u011b \u2013 s\u00a0katastrof\u00e1ln\u00edmi d\u016fsledky pro ob\u011bti. Z\u00a0po\u010d\u00e1tku, kdy se je\u0161t\u011b sna\u017e\u00ed zachovat sv\u00e9 dokonal\u00e9 vzez\u0159en\u00ed, sv\u016fj hn\u011bv projev\u00ed relativn\u011b v\u00a0klidu. Poprv\u00e9, kdy v\u0161ak odlo\u017e\u00ed svou masku, bude\u0161 zna\u010dn\u011b p\u0159ekvapen.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a slabost<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gaslighter proti tob\u011b pou\u017eije tv\u00e9 slabosti. Ve vztahu s\u00a0gaslighterem si \u010dlov\u011bk m\u016f\u017ee po chv\u00edli p\u0159ipadat v\u00a0bezpe\u010d\u00ed a za\u010dne d\u011blat to, co se ve zdrav\u00fdch vztaz\u00edch d\u011bl\u00e1v\u00e1 \u2013 za\u010dne sd\u00edlet d\u016fv\u011brn\u00e9 my\u0161lenky a city. To je norm\u00e1ln\u00ed, p\u0159irozen\u00e9 a znak zdrav\u00e9ho vztahu. Ale v\u0161imni si, \u017ee gaslighter jen z\u0159\u00eddka kdy sd\u011bluje stejn\u011b d\u016fv\u011brn\u00e9 v\u011bci o sob\u011b. Po kr\u00e1tk\u00e9 dob\u011b budou tv\u00e9 d\u016fv\u011brn\u00e9 z\u00e1le\u017eitosti pou\u017eity proti tob\u011b \u2013 st\u00e1v\u00e1 se z\u00a0nich psychologick\u00e1 munice. Nap\u0159\u00edklad d\u016fv\u011brn\u00e1 informace o neshod\u00e1ch, kter\u00e9 m\u00e1\u0161 ve vztahu se svou sestrou, ti je vmetena do obli\u010deje s t\u00edm, \u017ee \u201enen\u00ed divu, \u017ee se spolu h\u00e1d\u00e1me, kdy\u017e ani tv\u00e1 vlastn\u00ed sestra t\u011b nem\u016f\u017ee vyst\u00e1t. Chov\u00e1\u0161 se k\u00a0n\u00ed stejn\u011b jako ke mn\u011b.\u201c<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a p\u00e1dy<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gaslighter se nespokoj\u00ed s\u00a0t\u00edm, \u017ee by ode\u0161el pot\u00e9, co t\u011b po\u0161kod\u00ed, je\u0161t\u011b si do tebe na zemi kopne. M\u00e1 zvl\u00e1\u0161tn\u00ed pot\u011b\u0161en\u00ed v\u00a0tom, kdy\u017e t\u011b vid\u00ed trp\u011bt \u2013 zvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 vzru\u0161uj\u00edc\u00ed je, kdy\u017e v\u00ed, \u017ee trp\u00ed\u0161 kv\u016fli n\u011bmu.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a propaganda<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Propagandu lze definovat jako \u201emy\u0161lenky, fakta nebo domn\u011bnky \u00famysln\u011b \u0161\u00ed\u0159en\u00e9 pro pos\u00edlen\u00ed vlastn\u00edho vlivu nebo potla\u010den\u00ed vlivu opozice.\u201c Gaslighter notoricky u\u017e\u00edv\u00e1 propagandy k\u00a0tomu, aby naklonil misku vah na svoj\u00ed stranu. Samoz\u0159ejm\u011b to nenazve propagandou. Propagandou m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt cokoliv, a\u0165 ji\u017e zaml\u010den\u00ed n\u011bkter\u00fdch skute\u010dnost\u00ed, u\u017e\u00edv\u00e1n\u00ed neadekv\u00e1tn\u00edch p\u0159\u00edm\u011br\u016f pro potvrzen\u00ed vlastn\u00ed my\u0161lenky, nebo generalizov\u00e1n\u00ed jev\u016f bez ohledu na fakta. \u201eInformace\u201c je zpravidla lidem prezentov\u00e1na tak, aby je zastra\u0161ila, roz\u010d\u00edlila a pob\u00eddla k\u00a0boji proti n\u011bjak\u00e9 konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed skupin\u011b.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a uzn\u00e1n\u00ed viny<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gaslighter \u0159ekne o tob\u011b a jin\u00fdch lidech, \u017ee jste pomaten\u00ed a mimo, a to proto, aby se s\u00e1m nemusel ze sv\u00e9ho chov\u00e1n\u00ed zodpov\u00eddat. Kdy\u017e je nap\u0159\u00edklad gaslightuj\u00edc\u00edmu rodi\u010di \u0159e\u010deno, \u017ee by bylo vhodn\u00e9, aby jeho d\u00edt\u011b str\u00e1vilo v\u00edce \u010dasu dom\u00e1c\u00ed \u010detbou, tak gaslighter za tento nedostatek automaticky obvin\u00ed druh\u00e9ho rodi\u010de nebo u\u010ditele, anebo obvin\u00ed dokonce \u0161kolu, \u017ee n\u011bco takov\u00e9ho v\u016fbec vytahuje.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a pozornost<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gaslighte\u0159i nesn\u00e1\u0161\u00ed, kdy\u017e je n\u011bkdo ignoruje. Pot\u0159ebuj\u00ed pozornost. Cht\u011bj\u00ed, aby lidi na n\u011b neust\u00e1le mysleli a nez\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed \u00fapln\u011b na tom, jestli v\u00a0dobr\u00e9m nebo ve zl\u00e9m. Pozornost druh\u00fdch lid\u00ed jim d\u00e1v\u00e1 pocit opr\u00e1vn\u011bnosti pro jejich zp\u016fsob jedn\u00e1n\u00ed. Proto r\u00e1di u\u017e\u00edvaj\u00ed provokativn\u00edch v\u00fdrok\u016f, kter\u00e9 si lid\u00e9 snadno zapamatuj\u00ed a vz\u00e1jemn\u011b sd\u011bluj\u00ed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a projektov\u00e1n\u00ed<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jednou ze z\u00e1kladn\u00edch obran gaslighter\u016f je, \u017ee t\u011b obvin\u00ed z\u00a0v\u011bc\u00ed, ze\u00a0kter\u00fdch ho chce\u0161 obvinit ty. Gaslighter t\u011b nap\u0159\u00edklad obvin\u00ed z\u00a0nev\u011bry, i kdy\u017e t\u011b s\u00e1m tajn\u011b podv\u00e1d\u00ed. Nebo t\u011b na\u0159kne z\u00a0podvod\u016f a finan\u010dn\u00edch \u010dachr\u016f, p\u0159itom se s\u00e1m takov\u00fdch podvod\u016f dopou\u0161t\u00ed.\u00a0 Gaslighter s\u00e1m napadne svou opozici z\u00a0pomluv a dezinformac\u00ed, p\u0159itom s\u00e1m spustil kampa\u0148 na to, jak t\u011b o\u010dernit. Je to skv\u011bl\u00fd n\u00e1stroj k\u00a0tomu, jak opozici zm\u00e1st a zakr\u00fdt sv\u00e9 vlastn\u00ed \u00fazkosti a slabosti. Je dobr\u00e9 pozorn\u011b sledovat, jak lidi hodnot\u00ed druh\u00e9, jeliko\u017e mnohdy to je indik\u00e1torem toho, co vid\u00ed sami na sob\u011b.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a motivy<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jak\u00fd je rozd\u00edl mezi manipulac\u00ed pro zisk a gaslightingem? Hranice je tenk\u00e1. Zat\u00edmco manipulace a ovliv\u0148ov\u00e1n\u00ed je u n\u011bkter\u00fdch zam\u011bstn\u00e1n\u00ed nezbytnou sou\u010d\u00e1st\u00ed v\u00fdkonu pr\u00e1ce (nap\u0159\u00edklad prodej a marketing), pro gaslightery je to jasn\u00fd vzorec chov\u00e1n\u00ed \u2013 v\u00fdchoz\u00ed nastaven\u00ed. V\u011bt\u0161ina lid\u00ed l\u017ee pro n\u011bjak\u00fd konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed \u00fa\u010del \u2013 aby se vyhnuli konfrontaci, dostali do pop\u0159ed\u00ed, z\u00edskali si n\u011b\u010d\u00ed p\u0159\u00edze\u0148. U gaslighter\u016f nen\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00fd konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed motiv, pro\u010d by m\u011bli lh\u00e1t, ale stejn\u011b to d\u011blaj\u00ed znovu a znovu \u2013 \u010dasto se vzr\u016fstaj\u00edc\u00ed tendenc\u00ed, jak poci\u0165uj\u00ed svou vlastn\u00ed moc. \u010cin\u00ed tak pro v\u011bc samu \u2013 aby si s\u00a0tebou hr\u00e1li, m\u011bli nad tebou moc a mohli t\u011b m\u00e1st. Gaslighte\u0159i nemanipuluj\u00ed p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitostn\u011b, ale je to jejich zp\u016fsob \u017eivota.<\/p>\n<p>V\u0161e co gaslighter d\u011bl\u00e1, je o z\u00edsk\u00e1n\u00ed moci nad druh\u00fdmi lidmi a napln\u011bn\u00ed neuspokojiteln\u00e9 touhy po tom, b\u00fdt pot\u0159ebov\u00e1n. P\u0159\u00ed\u010diny tohoto chov\u00e1n\u00ed nejsou v\u017edy jasn\u00e9 \u2013 m\u016f\u017ee to b\u00fdt p\u0159irozenost, nebo pot\u0159eba. N\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed se tak narod\u00ed, jin\u00ed se tak nau\u010d\u00ed od sv\u00fdch rodi\u010d\u016f nebo jin\u00fdch lid\u00ed v\u00a0d\u011btstv\u00ed. D\u011bti, kter\u00e9 byly vystaveny psychick\u00e9mu n\u00e1tlaku, si mohou vytvo\u0159it maladaptivn\u00ed obrann\u00e9 mechanismy k\u00a0tomu, aby se s\u00a0n\u00e1sil\u00edm dok\u00e1zaly vyrovnat.<\/p>\n<p>Mnoho gaslighter\u016f pro\u017e\u00edv\u00e1 narcistick\u00e9 zran\u011bn\u00ed \u2013 vn\u00edmaj\u00ed trvalou hrozbu ztr\u00e1ty vlastn\u00ed hodnoty a sebe\u00facty. To se projevuje reakc\u00ed v\u00a0podob\u011b narcistick\u00e9ho hn\u011bvu. Narcistick\u00fd hn\u011bv nen\u00ed v\u017edy hlasit\u00fd \u2013 m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt relativn\u011b poklidn\u00fd, ale \u00fapln\u011b stejn\u011b nebezpe\u010dn\u00fd. Po pravd\u011b, kdy\u017e je narcista opravdu na\u0161tvan\u00fd, m\u00e1 jeho hn\u011bv podobu hr\u016fzu nah\u00e1n\u011bj\u00edc\u00edho chladu \u2013 takov\u00e9ho, \u017ee se ti naje\u017e\u00ed v\u0161echny chlupy na z\u00e1dech.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gaslighter a n\u00e1prava<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gaslighte\u0159i si mysl\u00ed, \u017ee jsou \u00fapln\u011b v\u00a0po\u0159\u00e1dku a v\u0161ichni ostatn\u00ed maj\u00ed probl\u00e9m \u2013 takov\u00fd povahov\u00fd rys je naz\u00fdv\u00e1n ego-syntonick\u00e1 osobnost. Opravdov\u00ed gaslighte\u0159i jsou t\u011bmi posledn\u00edmi, kdo by hledal psychologickou pomoc. Jestli ty s\u00e1m m\u00e1\u0161 tyto tendence, pozn\u00e1\u0161 to podle t\u011bchto bod\u016f:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u010casto l\u017ee\u0161, i kdy\u017e to nem\u00e1 \u017e\u00e1dn\u00fd \u00fa\u010del<\/li>\n<li>Nerad druh\u00fdm p\u0159\u00edmo sd\u011bluje\u0161 sv\u00e9 pot\u0159eby<\/li>\n<li>\u010cek\u00e1\u0161, \u017ee druz\u00ed budou \u010d\u00edst tv\u00e9 my\u0161lenky a v\u011bd\u011bt, co chce\u0161<\/li>\n<li>Jsi na\u0161tvan\u00fd, kdy\u017e druz\u00ed nedok\u00e1\u017eou p\u0159ij\u00edt na to, co chce\u0161<\/li>\n<li>Sna\u017e\u00ed\u0161 se lidi p\u0159inutit, aby d\u011blali, co chce\u0161 m\u00edsto toho, abys jim to p\u0159\u00edmo \u0159ekl (pasivn\u011b-agresivn\u00ed chov\u00e1n\u00ed)<\/li>\n<li>Ne\u0159ekne\u0161 lidem, co chce\u0161, ale zp\u011btn\u011b jim vy\u010d\u00edt\u00e1\u0161 jejich jedn\u00e1n\u00ed.<\/li>\n<li>Tv\u00ed p\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9 a rodina ti \u0159\u00edkaj\u00ed, \u017ee mluv\u00ed\u0161 posm\u011b\u0161n\u011b a hrub\u011b<\/li>\n<li>Jsi v\u00fdbu\u0161n\u00fd<\/li>\n<li>M\u00edv\u00e1\u0161 \u201eblack-out\u201c tj. nepamatuje\u0161 si, co jsi \u0159ekl, kdy\u017e jsi byl na\u0161tvan\u00fd<\/li>\n<li>Vid\u00ed\u0161 druh\u00e9 lidi jako sobce, co \u017eij\u00ed pro vlastn\u00ed pot\u0159eby.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Gaslightingu se lid\u00e9 \u010dasto nau\u010d\u00ed v\u00a0sebeobran\u011b.\u00a0 Nau\u010dil ses ho pou\u017e\u00edvat pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b proto, aby ses s\u00e1m ochr\u00e1nil p\u0159ed t\u00edm, aby t\u011b n\u011bkdo jin\u00fd nemohl po\u0161kodit. Pot\u0159eboval jsi ho k\u00a0tomu, aby si zvl\u00e1dl t\u011b\u017ek\u00e9 situace a p\u0159e\u017eil. Mohl ses nap\u0159\u00edklad nau\u010dit lh\u00e1t i o nevinn\u00fdch v\u011bcech, proto\u017ee n\u011bkter\u00fd z\u00a0tv\u00fdch rodi\u010d\u016f se velmi snadno roz\u010d\u00edlil.\u00a0 Mo\u017en\u00e1 si tyto obrann\u00e9 mechanismy nese\u0161 s\u00a0sebou do dosp\u011blosti.<\/p>\n<p>Zdrav\u00fd vztah by m\u011bl vypadat takto:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>M\u016f\u017ee\u0161 s\u00a0druh\u00fdmi svobodn\u011b mluvit o sv\u00fdch pot\u0159eb\u00e1ch a touh\u00e1ch<\/li>\n<li>Dok\u00e1\u017ee\u0161 starosti druh\u00fdch lid\u00ed vyslechnout bez p\u0159eru\u0161ov\u00e1n\u00ed<\/li>\n<li>Nep\u0159ipom\u00edn\u00e1\u0161 neomalen\u011b citliv\u00e1 t\u00e9mata z minulosti druh\u00fdch<\/li>\n<li>Dok\u00e1\u017ee\u0161 \u017e\u00edt pro jin\u00e9 z\u00e1jmy a hodnoty ne\u017e druh\u00fd, ani\u017e bys pro\u017e\u00edval pochybnosti<\/li>\n<li>Dok\u00e1\u017ee\u0161 s\u00a0druh\u00fdm mluvit o starostech \u201eza pochodu\u201c a \u201eneblokuje\u0161 ho\u201c<\/li>\n<li>Uv\u011bdomuje\u0161 si, \u017ee druh\u00fd nen\u00ed dokonal\u00fd a respektuje\u0161 to<\/li>\n<li>Respektuje\u0161, kdy\u017e ti druh\u00fd \u0159ekne \u201ene\u201c<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Mluv o sv\u00fdch pocitech:<\/p>\n<p>Jednou z\u00a0cest, jak sd\u011blovat sv\u00e9 pot\u0159eby je pou\u017e\u00edvat v\u011bty \u201emysl\u00edm si\u201c, \u201edomn\u00edv\u00e1m se\u201c, \u201ep\u0159ijde mi\u201c, \u201ec\u00edt\u00edm se\u201c. P\u0159i u\u017eit\u00ed \u201ec\u00edt\u00edm se\u201c sd\u011bluje\u0161 sv\u00e9 pochybnosti zp\u016fsobem, kdy druh\u00e9ho respektuje\u0161 a neobvi\u0148uje\u0161 ho. P\u0159edstav si nap\u0159\u00edklad situaci, kdy p\u0159ijde\u0161 z\u00a0pr\u00e1ce a ve d\u0159ezu je \u0161pinav\u00e9 n\u00e1dob\u00ed. Sv\u00e9mu d\u00edt\u011bti m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 vytknout: \u201ecel\u00fd den pracuju, abych za v\u0161echno za tebe platil \u2013 tak bys mohl aspo\u0148 uklidit v\u011bci do my\u010dky, nemysl\u00ed\u0161?\u201c Takov\u00fd v\u00fdrok ov\u0161em \u010dasto nevede k\u00a0tomu, \u017ee n\u00e1dob\u00ed skon\u010d\u00ed v\u00a0my\u010dce ale sp\u00ed\u0161e k\u00a0h\u00e1dce. U\u017eit\u00edm \u201ec\u00edt\u00edm se\u201c vysv\u011btl\u00ed\u0161 sv\u016fj probl\u00e9m bez u\u017eit\u00ed slova \u201ety\u201c. Lid\u00e9 se automaticky za\u010d\u00ednaj\u00ed br\u00e1nit, kdy\u017e je n\u011bkdo obvi\u0148uje. Kdy\u017e kritizuje\u0161 s\u00a0nadu\u017e\u00edv\u00e1n\u00edm slova \u201ety\u201c, lid\u00e9 p\u0159est\u00e1vaj\u00ed poslouchat zbytek toho, co vlastn\u011b chce\u0161 \u0159\u00edct. To, \u017ee nebude\u0161 nadu\u017e\u00edvat slovo \u201ety\u201c, nav\u00edc pom\u016f\u017ee i tob\u011b, aby ses stal sou\u010d\u00e1st\u00ed \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed. P\u0159i u\u017eit\u00ed \u201ec\u00edt\u00edm se\u201c pop\u00ed\u0161e\u0161, jak z\u00e1le\u017eitost vn\u00edm\u00e1\u0161, pro\u010d t\u011b to tr\u00e1p\u00ed a nab\u00eddne\u0161 \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed. Na rozd\u00edl od p\u0159edchoz\u00edho v\u00fdroku o my\u010dce \u0159ekne\u0161: \u201ekdy\u017e p\u0159ijdu dom\u016f a vid\u00edm n\u00e1dob\u00ed ve d\u0159ezu, tak \u201ese c\u00edt\u00edm\u201c na\u0161tvan\u011b, proto\u017ee jsem r\u00e1d, kdy\u017e doma je uklizeno, kdy\u017e p\u0159ijdu.\u201c V\u0161imni si, \u017ee sv\u00e9mu d\u00edt\u011bti p\u0159esn\u011b \u0159\u00edk\u00e1\u0161, co si p\u0159eje\u0161, aby p\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u011b ud\u011blalo. V\u00a0prvn\u00edm p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b \u0159\u00edk\u00e1\u0161, \u017ee jsi na\u0161tvan\u00fd, ale nenab\u00edz\u00ed\u0161 \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed. Lid\u00e9 cht\u011bj\u00ed v\u011bd\u011bt, co se od nich \u010dek\u00e1 a \u201ec\u00edt\u00edm se\u201c ti pom\u016f\u017ee nab\u00eddnout konstruktivn\u00ed \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed.<\/p>\n<p>Kdy\u017e s\u00a0lidmi mluv\u00ed\u0161, z\u016fst\u00e1vej s\u00a0nimi na stejn\u00e9 \u00farovni<\/p>\n<p>Jestli m\u00e1\u0161 tendence k\u00a0gaslightingu, m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 se p\u0159istihnout, \u017ee s\u00a0lidmi mluv\u00ed\u0161 \u201es hora.\u201c U zdrav\u00e9ho vztahu je c\u00edlem spolu hovo\u0159it jako rovn\u00fd s\u00a0rovn\u00fdm \u2013 mezi lidmi by nem\u011bla b\u00fdt hierarchie. M\u016f\u017ee se st\u00e1t, \u017ee mluv\u00ed\u0161 s\u00a0lidmi jako rodi\u010d s\u00a0d\u00edt\u011btem, tj. pou\u017e\u00edv\u00e1\u0161 fr\u00e1ze typu \u201em\u011bl bys\u201c, \u201epot\u0159ebuje\u0161\u201c, \u201emus\u00ed\u0161\u201c, \u201enikdy bys nem\u011bl\u201c, \u201ev\u017edycky si d\u00e1vej pozor\u201c. Tyto fr\u00e1ze v\u00a0sob\u011b zahrnuj\u00ed korigov\u00e1n\u00ed a povolov\u00e1n\u00ed ur\u010dit\u00fdch zp\u016fsob\u016f chov\u00e1n\u00ed tak, jako to d\u011bl\u00e1 rodi\u010d s\u00a0d\u00edt\u011btem. Ve zdrav\u00e9m vztahu spolu lid\u00e9 hovo\u0159\u00ed jako dva dosp\u011bl\u00ed lid\u00e9. Dosp\u011blost znamen\u00e1 opravdov\u00e9 poslouch\u00e1n\u00ed druh\u00e9ho bez rychl\u00e9ho soudu. Dosp\u011bl\u00ed lid\u00e9 se sna\u017e\u00ed pochopit jeden druh\u00e9ho.\u00a0 Dosp\u011bl\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk se t\u011b zept\u00e1 na tv\u016fj pohled a pov\u00ed ti sv\u016fj n\u00e1zor a doporu\u010den\u00ed \u2013 ale nenut\u00ed ti je. Dosp\u011bl\u00ed lid\u00e9 vid\u00ed v\u00edce \u0161ed\u00fdch z\u00f3n v\u00a0lidsk\u00e9m chov\u00e1n\u00ed \u2013 vid\u00ed ostatn\u00ed jako komplexn\u00ed lidsk\u00e9 bytosti se sv\u00fdmi touhami a pot\u0159ebami a v\u00ed, \u017ee ostatn\u00ed nejsou absolutn\u011b \u201edob\u0159\u00ed\u201c nebo absolutn\u011b \u201ezl\u00ed\u201c \u2013 maj\u00ed \u0161irokou \u0161k\u00e1lu pocit\u016f a vzorc\u016f chov\u00e1n\u00ed. Dosp\u011bl\u00ed lid\u00e9 se spolu tak\u00e9 dok\u00e1\u017eou \u201edohodnout na nesouhlasu\u201c a nevytahovat star\u00e9 k\u0159ivdy. P\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u011b a\u017e s\u00a0n\u011bk\u00fdm bude\u0161 mluvit, tak se schv\u00e1ln\u011b zamysli, jestli mluv\u00ed\u0161 jako rodi\u010d, d\u00edt\u011b, nebo dosp\u011bl\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk. Jestli jsi gaslighter, bude\u0161 t\u00edhnout k\u00a0tomu, chovat se k\u00a0druh\u00fdm jako rodi\u010d. Proto se soust\u0159e\u010f na sv\u00e1 slova a t\u00f3n, s\u00a0jak\u00fdm s druh\u00fdmi hovo\u0159\u00ed\u0161 a sna\u017e se chovat jako dosp\u011bl\u00fd k\u00a0dosp\u011bl\u00e9mu.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\" \/>\n<p><strong><em>ZDROJ:<br \/>\nGASLIGHTING: HOW TO RECOGNISE MANIPULATIVE AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE PEOPLE \u2013 AND BREAK FREE<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n(<em>GASLIGHTING: JAK POZNAT MANIPULACI A PSYCHICK\u00c9 N\u00c1SIL\u00cd \u2013 A Z\u00cdSKAT SVOBODU)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0Autor: Ph.D. Stephanie Sarkis<br \/>\nVyd\u00e1n\u00ed: Orionbooks, 2019<br \/>\nP\u0159eklad: Svobodn\u00ed edito\u0159i blogu, 2020<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Zdroj: <a href=\"https:\/\/novyzivot.design.blog\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">blog o Nov\u00e9m \u017divot\u011b<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gaslighter a rozd\u011blov\u00e1n\u00ed Gaslighte\u0159i maj\u00ed pln\u00fd pytel trik\u016f jak manipulovat lidi, ale jejich nejobl\u00edben\u011bj\u0161\u00ed jsou triangulace a rozd\u011blov\u00e1n\u00ed, jeliko\u017e vra\u017een\u00ed kl\u00ednu mezi tebe a druh\u00e9 lidi napl\u0148uje jejich pot\u0159ebu dominovat a \u0159\u00eddit. Pod\u00edvejme se tedy na tyto dv\u011b techniky. Gaslighte\u0159i je u\u017e\u00edvaj\u00ed z\u00a0n\u00e1sleduj\u00edc\u00edch d\u016fvod\u016f: Aby lidi roze\u0161tvali proti sob\u011b Aby [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[134],"tags":[135],"class_list":["post-7159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gaslighting","tag-stephanie-sarkis"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7159"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7277,"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7159\/revisions\/7277"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sozo.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}